im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
