you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Just pee around me
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
