i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
