So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
