and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
