Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Text me some of your sweat
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
