it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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