i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
