but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
