Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize