im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Randomize
