you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
