Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
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