The brown eye won't let me do that either.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
