sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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