This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
