We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
