I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
