It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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