haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
