i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
