never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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