I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
