the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
