Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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