just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
