yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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