The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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