Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
