I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
