Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
