I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
