Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
