Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
