1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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