My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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