FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
