Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
