I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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