I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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