We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
