sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
