google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
