I wannas sexs uuuuu
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
