i already hear my dad disowning me
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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