My sheets look like a crime scene.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
