Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
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