She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize