Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
You ever have a fart follow you around?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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