At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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