I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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