I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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