Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Randomize
