Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize