I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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