its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
