Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
How does it feel to date your dad?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
