I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize