you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
