She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
