i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
