Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
