so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
