OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
only you would photoshop your dick
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Randomize
