I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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