high people should be assigned attendants
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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