So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
