How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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