i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
