I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
