you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
